I get it…it’s a Range Rover. Woo Hoo. Now that we’ve addressed Land Rover’s built-in sense of entitlement in terms of the praise it expects for serving up another refresh on the Range Rover, can we just say it? The Range Rover is…kind of ugly.
Is it capable? With engine options including a supercharged V6 (cranking out 340 horsepower and 332 lb-ft of torque) and supercharged V8 (channeling 550 hp and 502 lb-ft of torque), there is no shortage of capable power.
Is it versatile? With the adjustable suspension and all-wheel-drive system, there are really no terrains that the Range Rover can’t handle.
Is it luxurious? With a longer wheelbase, it offers more legroom and comfort than ever and comfortably sculpted executive-style seating. And with an infotainment system built around a 10.2-inch touchscreen and sound system that can range from 13 to 29 speakers, one can certainly expect an immersive experience.
Sick of hearing a pretentious faux-accented spokesperson repeat themselves on a loop, talking about unrivaled luxury? Good so are we.
Because someone who drives a Range Rover is more than a little bit like a Gold Digger. You know the type: attractive, fit, scrupulous, dead behind the eyes. She enjoys the stature, and the benefits of being involved with someone who’s well-financed, continually stroking his ego despite his male-pattern baldness and pre-diabetic weight gain.
Someone who gets really excited about the Range Rover is probably excited because they like being able to afford a Range Rover. Face it, a Range Rover verges on being blocky, and the interior exemplifies the fine line between refined simplicity and blandness.
We’re not trying to upset you, Range Rover. You’re clearly an extremely capable, motivated go-getter and we’re sure that you’re very nice. We’re just concerned that people are driving you for the wrong reasons.