Uber Proves its Worth with McDonald’s Partnership

It’s no secret that the once-famed Uber has taken its fair share of below-the-belt blows in the past six months. Between deploying driverless Volvo XC90s on the streets of San Francisco without permission, to allegedly ripping off Google’s Waymo technology, to defying the call to boycott airport pickups amid Trump’s “Muslim Ban,” Uber has proven time and again that they don’t really give a shit.

In each one of the above listed instances, Uber took the stance of “the rules don’t apply to us,” and ran with it. Or drove – you get the point. Perhaps one of the most scandalous of their mounting scandals, ex-Uber employee Susan J. Fowler posted a blog article outlining the terrible working conditions at the Uber headquarters. Just when Uber thought all of their skeletons were out of the closet, Fowler dropped a friendly reminder that the uncovering of those skeletons was just getting started. In her now-famous blog post, Fowler described a corporate culture complete with backstabbing, negligent human resources, poor management, dirty politics, and “rampant sexual discrimination and harassment.”

Perhaps one of the most interesting (and believable) stories to break regarding the abusive nature of Uber, came in the form of a video that happened to go viral. In the video, which was published on March 1st, shows the company’s CEO, Travis Kalanik, being an outright asshole to one of Uber’s drivers. Like, a big time asshole. After the video garnered international attention, Kalanik, like any asshole who has been caught red-handed, apologized for his behavior saying that the video is “a stark reminder that I must fundamentally change as a leader and grow up. This is the first time I’ve been willing to admit that I need leadership help and I intend to get it.” The fact that this sort of public attention is what it took for this deusch to finally realize what an ass he is, says more about his character than the original video itself.

These instances are only a few examples of the many grievances surfacing about Uber’s shit-stained company culture. I’m sure that there are dozens of similar stories already out there, just waiting to be released. And we can’t wait for that day to arrive.

Now that you have a good sense of the pile of shit Uber is now sitting in – let’s talk about Uber Eats. An extension of the rideshare company that delivers food from participating restaurants to your door, within 30 minutes. Uber Eats recently partnered with McDonald’s to offer food delivery to stoners and drunks everywhere. Because, honestly, who else would request (and pay for) McDonald’s food delivery? Thanks to Uber, degenerates everywhere will be able to curb their munchies without risking the lives of others in order to chow down on that Big Mac.

While some are straight-up thrilled to learn of the partnership between Uber Eats and McDonald’s, I see it as further proof that Uber is indeed in the business of shit-shoveling. From their car, to your mouth – in just thirty minutes!